Why?

• He was in a loveless, horrible and unhappy marriage where he might have been trapped in it because of kids.

• 'That marriage began well, like the honeymoon period but quickly descended into unhappiness and pain—leading him to think any loving relationship can turn really unhappy—and if he's married (committed) there is no way out—and if he does this again, he won't survive it.

• His divorce ruined him financially. So many men tell me about their conversations with lawyers, prenups and the years they will have to support a wife after a divorce and give up their savings, assets or wealth. (obligation).

This is one example of many… where a man is burned off of commitment—he would rather be alone—than be trapped in an unhappy union ever again.

So he can be totally in love—and not be able to emotionally commit… sometimes ever again ladies.

So some of these man do eventually commit if she shows up emotionally safe and feminine, but others never will, even if totally in love—they are too traumatized and not able or willing to work through their intense fears.

Fall in love with a man that can give you what you want—and understand how to date a man who is in this stage of his life if you want to give him a chance.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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In the work I do it is sometimes really sobering to see how much the love that was absent in our childhood and how we learned to cope with that absent love, drives our relationships in our adult years.

I have seen so many women caught up in patterns of co-dependence and attached to absent love.

Think about it—if you had an absent father whose love you were always searching for—the pattern established is.

His Love is absent and you must search for it.

Therefore women often fall for emotionally unavailable men whose love is absent—and only then can these women feel in love, feel intense desire→ Because they are reliving their intense childhood desire and hoping to end it, or to meet it.

And what does absent love look like→ well it often looks like emotionally unavailable men.

And when those little girls had absent human fathers to learn to relate to, they created fantasy fathers in their mind, grabbing pieces here and there from movies, books or neighborhood fathers and created the idealized father—their projection.

So when a real man comes along, they are unable to see the man, they only see Mr. Right, Prince Charming, Rescuing Knight in Shining Armour.

They can't see the human, so the emotionally unavailable man only retracts further into his shell, his fear of being known (because who can live up to that right?)

And when an emotionally available man comes along, these beautiful women often simply don't understand this and they look for ways to sabotage it…

Because they never simply received this absent love for no other reason than Being.

This leads many women to be the pursuer in relationships with men and to chase love, over—function and over-give a guy, because they always have to earn that absent love their inner little girl was chasing…  instead of allowing love to come to them.

Because when they were children—love didn't come to them, not in the way they needed it.

This is just one of many patterns that call us to evaluate the way we give and receive love before we ever expect to have a great relationship with another loving human being."

You are always loved,

- Gio

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The Kingdom of Heaven is Here And Not Yet

Sometimes I myself need to hear the words that come through me because I know there is a place inside of me where these words come from that is Divine, infinite and eternal. That place is in every human being.

And every human being is both that place—Divine, infinite and eternal...and the very human parts catching up to that, growing into that, being nourished into growth and freedom by that—the imperfect parts we want to run away from—which we need to run to.

The holding of opposites— we can be Divine powerful leaders and oh so human, not only can we be, we are. And the more loving relationship we have with every part within ourselves, the more compassionate we become, the more patient.

I love the stories that talk about the kingdom of God being here in our midst and within us and yet not fully here yet, as something that is coming.

And the parts of humanity we would run away from... the inner darker and more wounded parts of us we need to sit down with,, understand and allow to heal.

Sometimes you need to invite every part of you to a riotous dinner, have a sit down and talk, break bread, drink wine and chill. Listen to what every part of you has to say, they all have a story to tell, a reason for being, a specific place they are at in their growth and development.

You are the ultimate parent that listens to each part within you (your wounded child, your ego, your dysfunctional parts, your genius, all of them) … and holds space, love, direction, leadership and eternal compassion. That and only that way, through divine compassion and intimacy with yourself, does every part of you grow up to match the divine part of who you are.

Through love we heal, grow up into wholeness and develop into our divine potential.


You are always loved,

- Gio

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A breakup. A dream relationship ends. Dream relationship because you could have sworn this was it—your soulmate..."The One..." but yet he was never quite committed, never quite yours...

You had more than high hopes, your every day was filled with excited thoughts for where this was going.

And after the breakup, as you are reeling in pain, after days of feeling lost, crying, grieving...

You realize you are reliving an exact moment that happened 2 or 4 or 6 years ago. The not quite available man, the relationship where you kept trying, kept hoping, kept waiting… to treat you in the adoring way you want to be treated, to see you as his true one and only.

But time hasn't waited for you. And you realize the same pattern has happened… and the world's heaviness feels like it is crushing you along with all of your dreams of having long lasting, passionate, truly committed love.

A new client of mine going through this one just this week.

How long will you continue to repeat patterns, until you realize that maybe you need to really course correct, get a handle on this, stop being passive, stop hoping… until you realize there is some deep work that needs to happen? How long will you continue to waste precious days, precious years—that could be filled with the right fit—because you are waiting and waiting, hoping and hoping...that potential turns into something real.

When we as women lock down on one choice of a man, before we've truly seen if he is a fit for YOU, if he is available, if he really is going in the same direction as your dreams—when we lock down on ONE man as the only only way (its ok if you feel he is your hands down number one choice—it's just a problem when you think he is your only choice ever)—that leads you to lose your power, your worth and your valuable, valuable time.

If you can't break this cycle get help… figure out a way, get good at this dating thing...time doesn't wait, like you do.

A high value woman learns how to create abundance and receive from men (plural)...she learns to attract high level, high quality choices—so she never has to give her power to a choice that isn't quite right. This abundance and momentum in turn often has men who were previously unavailable shift and finally fully dive in—and it also has other better men step in.

Empower yourself by learning to create choices in your life. That is what a High Value Woman does!

You are always loved,

- Gio

Photo Credit: messynessychic.com

Photo Credit: messynessychic.com

“Why Chasing a Man Will Not Get You Cherished As a Woman”

Control, control, control—that is why we chase a man. We don't know how to attract the love we want and so we have to find ways to force it, control it, make it happen, and force a man to like us, commit to us and be with us.

We stalk him on social media.

Text him just to say hi.

We put on an image, we try to be sweet, nice and do things for him.

We aggressively try to be nice if you know what I mean—trying hard to impress him, convince him and win him over.

All of those are the exact opposite of feminine energy whose foundation is emotional freedom. You aren't free—therefore he pushes away from the prison you are in of control.

And we control because we are disconnected from our Feminine power and because inside we allow fear and desperation to be the only means we USE to get love. It's unattractive—and no woman in her masculine energy is going to attract the sort of masculine man she wants.

That's when men pull away, ghost us, make convenient excuses like saying "he really wants to see you but he just had a family emergency or he has been super busy lately." Or maybe he does see you for coffee, or invites you to hang, or may even till take you to dinner one last time… but its clear he's no longer excited or making an effort and you somehow feel you've been put in the booty call or friend zone.

Masculine men are not attracted to Masculine energy in women. Men don't like to be controlled, chased, pursued...

How attracted would you be to a guy who takes 2 and a half hours to do his hair, nails and makeup before seeing you, who expects you to send him flowers and chocolates, and wants you to make all the plans and be the man?

No problem there with anyone doing it, I am saying that if you are the Feminine energy—you will be attracted to masculine energy (and this goes beyond gender).

Feminine energy, the real feminine energy, not the outer fake feminine energy a lot of people are teaching nowadays, triggers intense attraction in men.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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So I often hear women in sadness and tears tell me how the men in their lives started out being extremely considerate, passionately pursuing them, adoring them, lavishing them with gifts and then over time it's like they stop doing that… and little by little they feel less seen as women. The romance goes out the window.

Then we are told by society this is normal… relationships are meant to lose their spark.

When this happens, we women can start to feel like we are pulling teeth with men, we feel rejected, unloved and hurt. Then we go for coffee with well-meaning girlfriends who tell us about "the red flags" that mean he is a "bad guy who doesn't care about us and should!"

Have you been there? Well I am going to ask you a very important question that has the power to change your love and relationship destiny.

How much time have you invested in actually understanding how men work and understand relationships?

For such a vital area of our lives, I'm guessing very little. Most women expect men to act like women, and men expect women to act like men, and communication goes sideways while painful, old wounds are triggered and run the show.

There is a much easier way- one which so many of our clients has them saying, “This is the easiest relationship I’ve ever had, I am treated like a Queen.”

What is the key?

When our wounds run the show in relationships, most women feel rejected and start controlling, and emasculating a man, and then are surprised when the adoration leaves and men feel clueless in how to give a woman what she needs and begin pulled back instead of really knowing how to deliver for her.

We teach both men and women how to do relationships well, but for today, this is for our beautiful women.

You see when men are not responsive in the way we want, more often than not there is an attraction and connection problem. I'll share more in the coming weeks, but for today, know there is a better, much easier may to have everything you want in a relationship with a special man. You have more power than you think Irresistible Woman!

You are always loved,

- Gio

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What is Your Relationship With Your Feminine?

In the work I do I am always unearthing each woman's relationship to her feminine energy. Each woman weaves herself into her definition of Woman, but her Feminine energy remains there for her benefit or untapped. Listen in and see something I see all too often.

Client: When I was a little girl it was like I didn't count as much as my brothers. They got away with things I didn't. It was like their needs were above my own or my mother's. I don't know how I knew but it was like my mother expected me to please her and that wasn't put on my brothers. I didn't matter as much.

Gio: So what happened because of that?

Client: "Well I became a tomboy, and I tried to be like boys."

Gio: "and when your body began changing into a more womanly body, I imagine you began resenting it"

Client: "Yes, totally! How did you know?!"

Gio: "and then you started getting attention from boys..."

Client: "yes but I never wanted it, I never wanted their attention. I didn't for years and years."

Gio: Of course not, you were rejecting the very thing they were attracted to and this was secondary. And when your body started getting attention from boys, what did you do with that attention?"

Client: Silence. Hushed tones. "I… I manipulated men."

Gio: "Yep...you couldn't receive that attention and enjoy it because you were outside of your body, you were trying to get your power back, to make up for the powerlessness."

This meant my client grew up into her late 30’s unable to receive love from men, prioritizing her masculine energy in everything she did, especially her career and only using her sexuality as a means to power with men, not as a means to enjoy herself and receive pleasure.

So women equate being desirable to having power over men = having safety, social status, provision, protection, commitment, not being abandoned, etc. Instead of receiving desire as a gift, it becomes a means to an end. This leads to a woman objectifying a man—as she feels objectified herself. Men this is such a pervasive wound among women, and it is great that you understand it, especially when you see a hardened, masculine woman or a woman who doesn't fully surrender sexually. It is in the way you show up as men that can lead a hardened woman to soften and reconnect to her repressed and disconnected femininity. The harder a woman has become, the softer she was to begin with.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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Hi Beauties,

Very often a man's timeline for commitment takes longer than yours. Commitment brings a huge amount of responsibility for a masculine man who internally understands commitment as duty, honor and obligation.

He is going to take longer (most likely). The more eager, anxious, demanding, expectation filled you are—the more you are proving to him that you will very easily be controlling, nagging and emasculating once married—something men tell me weekly they are afraid of when it comes to marriage.

While you don't want your time wasted here by attaching and committing to him before he does, you also don't want to rush this—a baby takes 9 months, let him go through his commitment process.

Give  men the space they need to be who they are— MEN.

You are always loved,

- Gio

Photo Credit: marthastewartweddings.com

Photo Credit: marthastewartweddings.com

Hi beauties,

Fear is just trying to protect you— in its own way it’s trying to love you. Its job is to make you question the wisdom of doing something by reminding you of the potential danger there is to it.

However Fear, like an overprotective parent, if not met by Love within us, can get out of control and limit our lives—I see so many women living such "safe" and comfortable lives in isolation, not empowering themselves when it comes to love and men—waiting for YEARS until something changes, without being willing to be the change they have to be in their lives.

Listen, we are all afraid, a lot of the time.

And we were never taught how to deal with fear in the right way.

Instead of allowing it to overtake our lives and dictate what we do, we need to lead through the fear.

How many things are you so afraid of doing right now in your life that you know if you did your life would finally move forward?

Online dating? And learning to do it well?

Investing in relationship support to finally get over hangups and blocks?

Going to the gym and being afraid of what you will feel about the way you look?

Afraid of saying no to that man you've been hooked on because your afraid of losing him and facing the loneliness and uncertainty that will force you to do something about your love life?

Making new friends that elevate you?

Participating more in groups and communities?

Getting out there in the world instead of staying indoors isolated from men, from love, from friends, from life?

What is it? And what is the cost of doing nothing?

You are always loved,

- Gio

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How to Identify a Masculine Man Who is Commitment Ready

Masculine men give you as a woman deep feelings of stability and security. You feel like you can be a woman around them because of their grounding, safe, powerful and focused energy. They are not flakey, indecisive, and directionless and if you feel unstable around them, are not in their masculine. (As a woman you will feel their masculine grounding in your lower body/chakras especially).

Beta Men are looking for a masculine energied woman who looks feminine typically. They want a woman to provide the grounding, direction and stability they don't have. They want the woman to provide for them like a mother does. Often men like these will have little direction, will be financially unstable, will have great ideas but not be able to succeed at any of them (idealist) and will often argue about paying for dates.

Masculine men like significance but they don't need validation to lead. Beta men will be looking for validation and popularity everywhere without doing the work to become the solid man they need to be. They are chasing fame not leadership. A masculine man will be focused on leadership and service.

Men will stay even when times are hard, if they are committed to you, they will seek for ways to work it through, they understand that life is both highs and lows.

Masculine men are looking for a High Value Queen and a real relationship, not just a pretty face that makes them look good on social media.

Masculine men do not run from commitment, they understand they are forged through commitment, commitment to building a life, a partnership, a business, etc.

Men always figure out the way to succeed through strategies, focus and resourcefulness. They get back up, they don't make excuses.

Photo Credit: usmagazine.com

Photo Credit: usmagazine.com

Some women often tell me: "Gio are you telling me I can't be authentic and tell him how I truly feel?"And through our work they will often see that what they considered to be “normal” ways or “authentic” ways of communicating were actually more in the realm of DRAMA, CO-DEPENDENCE, NEEDINESS, BURDEN, INVALIDATION AND REACTIVITY.

All of these aren’t our authentic selves, they are our coping selves, our survivalist selves, our fear driven selves—and when these drive, and for a lot of women they do, whether they know it or not—love cannot happen nor can it be sustained. At the Embodied Feminine Woman Institute we teach you Irresistible communication with men along with doing deep inner work to find the true, authentic you, buried under coping and survival mechanisms in love—and this becomes like magic turning our ladies into magnets for men.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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You're not Just Looking For a Husband, You are Looking For a Partner in Life...

You're not Just Looking For a Husband, You are Looking For a Partner in Life...

The man who can hold you, your positives, your imperfections, your soul, your spirit, your humanity, the man you can be your truest self with.

A partner in life to go through the ups, to go through the downs, to build your legacy, to support your mutual vision and purpose in life.....

Always ask yourself when dating, is this man a good partner for life?

And then ask, is this man an amazing partner for the life I have on this earth.....

You want a partner—not just a marriage, a ring, a wedding, a validation certificate, you want someone who goes ALL IN and will be there, through thick and thin, and has the ability to SEE partnership for what it was meant to be.

Once you mature past the ego striving, past the wounded child desperate for love, and you are present to yourself and your life more than anything—you realize how short it really is, and you get crystal clear on what is MOST IMPORTANT—when the noise settles, what will matter. Look for THAT.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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Men Can’t Read Our Minds

So, what would healthy  love do? Ladies, one big mistake we make is assume Men know how to love us

So when a guy messes up he can either receive grace and guidance or rejection and punishment from us. We go to punishment as a first option so very often it wrecks love and attraction fast.

The problem is when we think that mess up is a rejection or lack of love from him to us.

Assuming he already knows how to love you will have him feeling like he constantly disappoints that expectation (a man needs to know HOW to win with you.)

Love guides, fear demands, Love meets us where we are, fear constantly makes him fall short.

A High Value Woman accepts, rejects and lets a guy know how to win with her—she doesn't chase, lean forward, step in for him, pursue, fix but she knows how to have men with win her.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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Low Value is Anything That Does Not Provide VALUE in Relationships

So for example:

Playing games

Minimal investment: Don't bring much to the table by way of energy, time, conversation, investment, commitment, friendship, support, value, etc.

Talking only about yourself (I get told this a lot by women, men ask her questions, make it about her) vs listening and wanting to learn about a person

Emotionally unavailable—you can be charming, but be incredibly emotionally shut down and unavailable, usually charm lasts only so long before problems arise....

What this means is that you attract what you give—you will attract men and women who play games (bc of intimacy fears),

You will attract men/women who have minimal investment—the non-committal man or the highly needy woman (her minimal investment is in her self responsibility)

You will attract men and women that are only out for themselves but are a match to you being only about yourself—they will also have an agenda with you, want to use you, it will just take a little longer to come out.

HIGH Value attracts partners go Highest Value—and it takes solidity in all ways to attract solidity back—there is no fulfillment without solid substance, character and a real high quality person!

Men—be confident, be open, be direct, listen and get to know her, create a plan, lead.

Women—be confident, be open, be warm, listen and get to know him, lead with your heart.

You are always loved,

- Gio

Photo Credit: wildwildwestindians.tumblr.com

Photo Credit: wildwildwestindians.tumblr.com

Don't regret it, just get bigger and better...

The best revenge is to diffuse the need to revenge and refocus all of your energy on having everything you desire and want.

Recently in conversations with clients things like these would come up:

But I gave him so much—and now I want to take it back.

But she benefited so much by being with me, I feel used.

And while we never bypass those emotions, we process them and learn to be with them—I want to offer you a thought. The core pain here is the feeling of being replaced and left behind. Of being used and then discarded… and the focus is off our own power of creation which is in you at all times.

At all times you can (after processing and being with your emotions) move your focus into creating for yourself… opening doors for yourself, getting bigger and better.

The best revenge is a well lived, extremely fulfilling life—full of self-forgiveness, lessons learned and achieved expansion, joy, love relationship and so much more...

This is the secret alchemy of transmuting fear into creation and power.

If you are afraid of being left behind—refocus and move forward at higher speeds with more powerful direction. Create for yourself without waiting for anyone to acknowledge.

Be happy you gave to them, be happy they benefited, and now give to yourself, create openings and expand. Healthy things grow and blossom.

You are never replaceable to your own soul and from your soul comes the power of life to create, care for you, and attract to you everything you desire.

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Being a High Value Woman is about creating an environment around you that supports you so much you flourish and become healthy—whenever you hear us talk about "High Value" think "Healthy." When we are healthy, we come alive, blossom, in all our untamed, sexy, feminine irresistibility. Make your "healthy" a top priority—emotional health, soul health, spirit health, body health, relationship health!

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The Importance of Being Turned Off

One of the most important gut level responses we can have is to be sensitive to when we feel turned off by someone and by someone's behavior.

A man approached you in a not so respectful way.

An acquaintance's approach to you didn't have the best intentions.

It could be a thousand reasons—and yet so often we dismiss their behavior because we are feeling insecure and we need validation. We need to be liked—we need to approve of and so instead of staying present to how it made us feel and whether we want to stay there.....whether or not we approve, we like, we want, and we are turned off....?
We stay, in one way or another. That guy's minimal investment in you is sounding off as a big turn off, whatever his reasons—if your heart stay attached to him despite these turnoffs it’s often a sign you aren't honoring yourself—which means you aren't VALUING yourself.

That turn off is telling you know he is half-assing it—yet there we are.... hung up on his next text.

Staying in any situation where you should be turned off and detached is always a mirror to healing that needs to take place for you-' in your confidence, in your worth. Once you learn how to heal this you aren't a beggar looking for validation crumbs everywhere—you already have it within you… and so the next thing you feel is the turn off—and you detach...

Yep, I don’t want to be here.

Nope, I don't want to respond to that email.

I have nothing to say now, I am going to go do other things...

OK. I understand. However I am now going to move on.

MANTRA: "Although I've tended to be very good about not returning to situations I feel turned off by, I always prioritize getting better at it… and honoring my boundaries, interests and treating turn off responses as filters for where and with whom I should be."

You are always loved,

- Gio

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What energy are you attracted to in men? Women can choose different types of men they are attracted to—a large percentage of the women we work with are very attracted to masculine energy—and as energetic of relationship go—you create “attraction”  or polarity with an energy when you show the opposite magnetic energy. Yin, Yang. Feminine/Masculine

So tell us below—do you find healthy masculine energy in men attractive?

Or are you more attracted to a man presenting with more feminine energy?

No right or wrong—just knowing your preference when it comes to yourself, what you feel attraction to  and what you desire.

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