The Importance of Being Turned Off

One of the most important gut level responses we can have is to be sensitive to when we feel turned off by someone and by someone's behavior.

A man approached you in a not so respectful way.

An acquaintance's approach to you didn't have the best intentions.

It could be a thousand reasons—and yet so often we dismiss their behavior because we are feeling insecure and we need validation. We need to be liked—we need to approve of and so instead of staying present to how it made us feel and whether we want to stay there.....whether or not we approve, we like, we want, and we are turned off....?
We stay, in one way or another. That guy's minimal investment in you is sounding off as a big turn off, whatever his reasons—if your heart stay attached to him despite these turnoffs it’s often a sign you aren't honoring yourself—which means you aren't VALUING yourself.

That turn off is telling you know he is half-assing it—yet there we are.... hung up on his next text.

Staying in any situation where you should be turned off and detached is always a mirror to healing that needs to take place for you-' in your confidence, in your worth. Once you learn how to heal this you aren't a beggar looking for validation crumbs everywhere—you already have it within you… and so the next thing you feel is the turn off—and you detach...

Yep, I don’t want to be here.

Nope, I don't want to respond to that email.

I have nothing to say now, I am going to go do other things...

OK. I understand. However I am now going to move on.

MANTRA: "Although I've tended to be very good about not returning to situations I feel turned off by, I always prioritize getting better at it… and honoring my boundaries, interests and treating turn off responses as filters for where and with whom I should be."

You are always loved,

- Gio

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What energy are you attracted to in men? Women can choose different types of men they are attracted to—a large percentage of the women we work with are very attracted to masculine energy—and as energetic of relationship go—you create “attraction”  or polarity with an energy when you show the opposite magnetic energy. Yin, Yang. Feminine/Masculine

So tell us below—do you find healthy masculine energy in men attractive?

Or are you more attracted to a man presenting with more feminine energy?

No right or wrong—just knowing your preference when it comes to yourself, what you feel attraction to  and what you desire.

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The Power Of Your Feminine Energy Signals Deeply To Men

My Client shares this with me and I start laughing because it never fails.

Men always respond to your energy, they have a radar for this. My client and I have done incredible work in 5 sessions and her radiance, FEMININE ENERGY  and open heart is showing up big time.

"Gio! You won't believe it. I keep telling myself the attention I am getting from guys is a fluke or just coincidence but this isn't. My friend has a hot, super quality guy friend whom I've known for 2 years. Even though we were introduced way back when, whenever we would run into him or see him (and I would be with my friend) he would barely acknowledge me and I mean barely. He would focus on my friend and they would catch up.”

Well we ran into him again at a restaurant/bar and I just sat quietly expecting things to go as usual and be kind of ignored. He said hi to my friend but then turned around, noticed me and laser—focused in on me!!! He kept asking me questions and smiling and then asked me even more questions. I couldn't believe it!

He asked me about what I do and just kept going on and on. Then he said I looked beautiful and then asked me for my card. I told him I didn't have any cards on me so he asked if I could add him on Facebook. He then left to talk to other people, but not 15 minutes later came back to ask me why I hadn't added him on Facebook! LOL!

Then he asked me if I'd like to hang out sometime and asked for my number!!! Gio I've run into this guy several times over 2 years, he has barely noticed me and 5 weeks into working with you, the guy asks me out on a date! Yeah right! That is no fluke!!!"

The best part of this is that Bethany had never in her life been as concerned about her weight as she felt she was weighing the heaviest she ever had and yet—there you go—the guy he had the hots for asked her out. The guy she had silently admired and thought, "out of my league!"

Men feel into your energy way before they notice how you look, are dressed and act. Your energy radiates when our heart feels safe, loved, whole and supported—come join us and over 20,000 amazing women at our Free Facebook Support Group The High Value Woman!

You are always loved,


- Gio

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The World is Pushing Women Too far into Masculinity

This world continually gives us more opportunities as women, opportunities we have fought for and I am so grateful for. However as a relationship expert who coaches powerful men and women and couples each week—I see the trend of pushing women way too much into their masculine energy.

Leaving women feeling disconnected from their most powerful essence at their own core!

Masculine energy is the energy that helps us get things done:

- Has us move through our to do lists

- Conquer our empires

- Strategize and calculate everything

- Become self-sufficient and totally independent.

...and show up with men with this same leading, masculine energy... however, to men, if we show up in this energy, they feel like they are on a date with a man, a dude or a buddy. Men will routinely say to me:

"She was beautiful but she felt like a guy."

"My wife just felt like I was coming home to have sex with another man."

And all of their attraction and sexual polarity with us dries up. I coach men every week and they all tell me the same thing—they long for Feminine women… Femininity.

Just like we as women long for Masculinity in men—for a man to step up, protect, take care of, lead. Your Feminine energy looks like the moments when you are deeply connected to your heart, your softness, your receptivity (you allow yourself to be loved, pursued, adored and you drop your guardedness, reactivity and aggression. Your Feminine energy comes out when you have no goal, no agenda which means you are free to connect with those around you simply for WHO they are, not the outcome they take you too. Feminine energy is all about WHO YOU ARE and WHO HE IS. Not on trying to get someone to love you, give to you or change for you. In your Femininity, you are relaxed in your sensual, feeling body, you are empathic, taking it all in, your curiosity about life, yourself and the other comes out to play, you become a powerful force for creating wild and free and deep intimacy, connection, play… your soul emerges with it's intuition, it's inner knowing… You are Goddess.

You share the full range of your emotions to create connection, you share both light and dark, peace and storm and in sharing this open the other to share their soul with you and create a bond with you which the other's Soul feels like home and deep companionship. In your Feminine you becoming vulnerable because you allow your Soul to be seen as it is, and you make others vulnerable because you see their Souls as they are—without the personas, masks, images and facades. Acceptance.

This is absolutely and stunningly irresistible to masculine men. I have seen men get dizzy, literally lose their balance and surrender to a woman who shows up in her deep, embodied Feminine energy.

Don't buy into the marketing hype that being a powerful woman is all about your masculine energy—nothing is more anti-woman than that. You can have both energies and know when to give yourself the freedom to express them.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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How do I become Magnetic to Men?

You don't look for it outside of yourself. You are either a radiant light or your light is blocked and  you are looking for a man to be your light. Men are drawn to you when you offer them the fullness of who you are from the inside. A woman with self-esteem, self-respect, boundaries, a soft, wild, alive heart that UNDERSTAND HOW TO LOVE A MAN.

So are you full, integrated and whole? Or showing up taking way more than you give?

The evidence is always in how men respond to you. Do they pursue you passionately, commit, want to claim you or do they continually leave?

Your task is to remove the layers that are keeping you showing up empty instead of with abundant feminine energy to offer a man.

Most of us don't realize how empty we approach men—asking, taking, self-absorbed. We are empty of self-esteem, worth, femininity but we are full of insecurity, co-dependent taking energy, bad relationship habits.

When we show up empty—men pull away—they don't find what they are looking for. When we show up full, embodied and feminine men are magnetized. Desire rules the world in many ways—and we are magnetized and drawn to pursue what we want and need.

Learn to connect to the core of who you are and become an Embodied Feminine Woman.

You are always loved,

- Gio

Photo Credit: @Mikutas

Photo Credit: @Mikutas

The practice of listening in to your SOUL and creating intimacy with yourself, leads you to knowing how to have your Man open his heart to you in ways that have him feel completely devoted to you. People often ask, "I know I need Self-love but how do I make it real?"

How does self-love descend from your head into your heart?

Self-love descends into your heart when you are willing to look into what others would look away from. When you are willing to meet shame with acceptance, understanding, a listening ear, compassion and truth.

Self-love is your own gentle friendship with your own self. Your unwillingness to flinch, judge, belittle, shame or humiliate the parts of you you feel most humiliated for having.

You know— those dark parts we shudder to think we have—the jealous feelings, the real, ugly, anger, the inner needy taker, the insecure hater… the sellout, the part of us that is in a grey zone when it comes to integrity… the fears, the little child crying…

If you shame those aspects of yourself which is what self-rejection does (you reject those parts of you)... they will never get the ONE thing they need to come back into wholeness… your own LOVE.

Remember that whatever you don't listen to within yourself, gets shouted out to everyone else around you.

Today, gift yourself the space to listen in to any and all feelings, and keep asking your heart why it feels this way—no fixing, no numbing, no telling your heart what it should feel.

Being listened to is one of the most powerful forms of LOVE.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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The #1 Thing That Makes a Man Fall in Love with You

A man falls in love with you when he can be totally himself with you, like he can't be with anyone else.
When you show up with your guards down, connected to your own heart and self, you are able to create that space with a man.

That space is a space of intimacy.
In that safe space a man begins to drop out of his own head and begins feelings his own heart, his own feelings. He opens up to you because he feels safe with you. When you are yourself with him, you show that you trust yourself, that you know yourself, that you can handle your emotions. Whenever we can’t handle our emotions, we become self-absorbed.

When you accept yourself enough to be who you are with him, he feels safe to be totally himself around you. He begins to open up and share with you things he shares with no one else.  A man sees a soulmate, when he sees a companion for his soul—his innermost, truest being.

In order to open up to you, to be totally himself with you, a man needs to feel safe around you. He needs to feel he can tell you anything and you will be able to handle it. He falls in love with you when he feels he can be totally himself around you.

He feels this way because he knows that you aren't trying to control him, or your own feelings, or the circumstances to go in your favor, you are just sharing a moment with him, connecting. And when his guard comes down, and his heart begins to open, and he lets you in to his world... when you leave he begins to miss you, that space where he can be totally himself with you, the woman who knows his heart-' who is sensitive and in tune with those emotions he may not even be in tune with himself.

As a woman, your feminine is  your own presence and curiosity (which is love and interest for him) and your own intuition (able to tune in) to another's heart.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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When men aren’t mirroring back our worth to us, it has everything to do with how we’re showing up (for ourselves, in our life and with the men) and nothing to do with our value as women.

The Institute helps connect you with your eternal value, which is within you right now, exactly as you are—and then gives you the tools to lead with that inner essence more and more over time and not with the wounds and fears that obscure your feminine radiance and may have had these men pulling away after initially being in hot pursuit.


When you can create intense emotional attraction with a man, they not only stay but they never want to leave! Often it’s when that surface level attraction doesn’t develop into something with soul substance that men move on quickly… then we blame ourselves, usually attacking our appearance or our material level of success or the fact that we slept with him on the 4th date rather than the 11th instead of realising that it’s our capacity to create (and sustain) heart connection and emotional attraction. This first and foremost requires intimacy with your own heart which, if you’re anything like me, was a foreign concept for most of my life because my mind and its thoughts were all I paid attention to.

We’re all here to support you and if you feel drawn to the Institute, I couldn’t recommend it highly enough X"

→ Stated so well by one our amazing EFW graduates and now EFW leader Nada Iancov.

Photo Credit: bytezza.com

Photo Credit: bytezza.com

Why You Don't Want to Lead with Sex

Ladies getting attention from men isn't difficult—a really short skirt, cleavage, big hair, makeup that is sending a specific message.

I think every woman can relate to getting attention from a man and then realizing attention was never his affection—his love, his heart.

When you are meeting a man, you don't want to go for attention, you want to go for connection.

That means you aren't trying to impress him, seduce him, prove your sexuality to him, get his lust going for you…

You see through connection a man feels emotionally drawn to you, connection is a space you create between you and him where you can both get lost in. And when he begins to experience connection with you, his feelings follow.

When all you are going for is attention, you are sending the message that you aren't enough, and when you send the message I am low-value, he won't see your value. You are also in masculine energy because you are trying to force an outcome. You are going to compensate for not being enough by selling yourself for his cheap attention.

His attention does not mean his affection ladies.

A quality man can find a woman on every corner to have sex with, sex in many ways is cheap nowadays, what is very hard to find is authentic, deep connection, from your heart to his.

Connection will give you his affection, not his cheap attention. Lead with WHO you are as an embodied feminine woman, connect with his innermost him- that's where his heart is.

You are always loved,

- Gio

Photo Credit: deutschestyle.de

Photo Credit: deutschestyle.de

You are Needy

Guys.

It's not your neediness that is your problem. It is the shame you feel because you are needy.

"I don't want them to know... I'm needy."

I will shame this part of me and hide from them.

Listen... all neediness is, is an unmet need.

If you skip lunch, you'll get hunger pains—your body needs food.

If you skip food all day- your blood sugar will talk to you—your body needs food.

If you fast for several days without proper nutritional reserves—it might weaken you into starvation mode and you will definitely be needy for food.

Would you shame your body for being hungry? No.

Why would you shame your soul for being hungry?

Neediness is an inner lack of nourishment. That is it.

When we don't properly meet our needs we will naturally meet with others from a place of inner hunger and it will show.

If you shame your hunger, it does nothing to feed the hunger.

Next time you are needy and someone tells you you are, the first thing to knowing how to nourish yourself is by acknowledging that you are hungry.

OWN the neediness as it comes up, beautifully.

Sit down and feel it. Feel the words; You are Needy.

Watch as shame begins to burn in your stomach, through your chest, all the way to your cheeks.

Watch as you quickly bully the need in you (and then bully it in others)... watch yourself as you try to hide and reject the neediness, shame the neediness, armor against the neediness.

Watch as you want to be reactive to the shame, then let the shame pass. Just let it pass.

The embrace yourself just as your are. Love yourself right there. And then promise yourself to learn to feed yourself - not because you want to save face and be good enough, but because you love yourself and you want to lovingly care for yourself.

The Instant you stop rejecting yourself trying to be more enlightened and perfect, is the instant you come into your power. TRUE POWER.

Embrace your neediness as the way your Soul tells you something is missing, something is needed. Own everything inside of you that you reject and you stop giving your power away.

It is your shame that drives you giving your power away.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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Relationships Make The World Go Round

One of the most dangerous places someone can find themselves in is a place of isolation and unfortunately it is so common nowadays.

Loneliness is so prevalent and as a client of mine shared with me when we began our journey together last January, "Gio, the loneliness is palpable, like physical, it feels like it is smothering with a thousand tons of pressure and I can't breathe."

And while I am so happy to report she is now in an amazing relationship with a quality, integrous, amazing, masculine man- AND through our work at the EFW institute she learned how to cultivate deep emotional intimacy (the solution to loneliness in relationships)....

We didn't stop there—we helped her create a wide network of relationships with quality humans. As she slowly followed our suggestions, we built a path for her to recover her life from isolation.

 

She is now rooted and connected in local community.

Has incredible local friends.

Has made life long sisters at our Embodied Feminine Woman Institute whose she meets with online and some locally.

She healed her relationship with her parents (as we helped her mend the rifts and misunderstandings, the wounds driving.)

 

She learned how to express her deepest authentic self and how to be seen, heard and known.

Her quality of life shot up, she began experiencing wholeness and peace instead of daily dread and anxiety and fear…

 

See it's not just about getting a man-tis about getting right with life...

With our relationship to ourselves, to our lives, to others and to alignment so we can attract an amazing man and partner & sustain that love throughout the years.

That is what the Embodied Feminine Woman Institute is all about- becoming whole, happy, empowered, peaceful, radiant, irresistible and attracting to you the life you were meant to live—WHICH WAS NOT MEANT TO BE LIVED ALONE.

You were meant to be cherished, adored and helped—when you do life isolated and alone the shield your support system is meant to be is gone. Life becomes 1000X harder.

 

And believe me, I understand why people isolate. Communities, families and friends in our past may have caused so much pain we protect hard against being wounded like that again, but often we also lose the ability to sift and navigate to quality relationships and give up on all the support we need in life. And as we become isolated instead of healing, we fester inside… wounds bleed and our life is smothered away…

 

I created the Embodied Feminine Woman Institute to help you be in the most loving community you've ever experienced, to have daily support and guidance, sisterhood and help every step of the guided way to love with an amazing man.

You are a human being, you aren't exempt from needing encouragement, love support and SO much more.

We are opening doors to our EFW institute in a few weeks for our official YEAR 2, with massive upgrades and exciting add-ins you won't want to miss.

Stay tuned!

Let's make your 2019 a year of strength, success in love, wholeness, peace, happiness and success in love.

 You are always loved,

- Gio

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Deal Sex, as my friend put it

I was talking to one of my best girlfriends, a very successful and brilliant woman who loves what we teach and has her own sharp insights after working around men, in a male dominated industry for a long time. We were talking about how often men propositioned women in the business world for fleeting trysts that never meant anything and how she would always see the same recurring theme. A man would come into town, take a woman out, wine and dine her and then disappear.

The woman would spend a couple of dates in and sleep with him and think she had fallen in love. For men the fantasy is in the moment, for women the fantasy would begin the moment the man left. Both projecting on to each other their fantasies, and not reality. It would go like this: Man takes woman out on date, tells her he's never met anybody like her, lavishes wining and dining, they have a great weekend and then come Monday it's back to reality for him, and for her it's the start of her fantasy....

"Is he the one?"

"I am in love!"

"I've never met anyone like him."

It's "deal" sex, as my friend from Wallstreet put it. Now you can be tempted to think men are wrong for doing this—but they aren't any more wrong or right, than women pining, obsessing and fantasizing afterwards.... They are the two sides of the same coin—projection of fantasies instead of reality. He throws caution to the wind in front of a beautiful face, she throws caution to the wind by filling in the gap of whatever isn't there when he is gone. Whatever isn't there: Consistent pursuit, actually knowing the guy, courtship, etc.

This is SO dangerous ladies! This is why pacing in dating is vital and crucial! This is why a High Value Woman does not early attach! She knows how to keep herself grounded, high value, confident, receiving—and date her way into the best romantic decision of her life-w here her well-being is her top priority. A High Value Woman learns to make the best choices for herself—and isn't lead by instant gratification....

So repeat after me:

"It's a man's high value, invested consistent actions (not words) towards me over a period of time that determine whether I will commit to him."

Pacing is your best friend—instead of deal sex as my friend so eloquently described all of this in our conversation today. Get REAL DEAL Relationships... love you!

You are always loved,

- Gio

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The importance of your "no" being honored

Client: "I have a pattern of ending relationships and burning bridges."

Gio: "ok...so is this romantic relationships only? Or any and all relationships?"

Client: "Any Gio, I'm worried. You talk so much against isolating ourselves and I feel I just don't have relationships in my life I can count on to stay. I"ve never figured this out, I've gone to therapy for years and nothing works. Why do I keep doing this?

Gio: "Out of curiosity what have you been told?"

Client: " No-one has really figured it out. The words serial monogamist and anxious attachment have been thrown around, but I still don't know what the core of it is."

Gio: "So you jump into friendships and relationships, they are very intense and then they burn out, correct?"

Client: "yes."

Gio: "Alright... well what is it that you are afraid of when in the relationships?"

Client is silent. You can immediately see fear when trying to answer the question.

Client: "I....I'm......"

Gio: "It's ok....take your time, you are safe here."

Client: "I don't know (tears)......I'm afraid...."

Gio: "Let me guess....they will get to know the real you, and or you will let the real you out, and the real you can be explosive, or needy?"

Client: "yes, yes!!! All of that!"

Gio: "ok, how does it feel to be afraid of that? Can you describe how it lands on your body? How it impacts it?

Client: "ugh, I feel this lump on my chest, I feel numb (swallows hard).....I feel a hole inside.....I don't trust anyone. I feel like none's love and loyalty is really real. I feel like everyone is going to leave...."

Client starts to really cry.

Gio: "When you were small, could you say "no"? What would happen when you would say "no"? As I ask this question what is the first image that comes to your mind."

Client: "wow yeah...ummm....no, I couldn't say no.No, I could never say no. The first image that comes to mind was asking my mother not to do something and when I did...." she hesitates....

Gio: "You were punished.....right?"

Client starts breathing heavily, more tears.

Gio: "Like really punished....... right? Was this your mother or father or both?"

Client: Thinking, hesitant. Feels guilty. "Yes...it was my mother."

Gio: "What feelings come up now?"

Client: "Anger, lots of anger, I can feel my stomach turning. I feel like screaming."

Gio: "Was your father more passive? Like she had everyone controlled?"

Client: "yes."

Gio: "right, that's going to then ripple into your romantic relationships, what do you feel about your dad being more passive around this?"

Client: "Ugh so much anger Gio, almost like rage."

Gio: "right, so let me summarize this.... you grew up in an environment where you were not allowed to have boundaries and a primary parent violated them frequently. When you would speak up, you were punished. The primary masculine (your father) was passive so you didn't learn healthy assertiveness. You couldn't escape, you felt trapped, controlled and not allowed to be who you really were. You couldn't be loved for who you are because we don't have boundaries, we ARE our boundaries, if they aren't seen and loved, we don't feel loved. So you had to find a way to fight back. Dependence on a relationship, needing someone here would feel very threatening.

Did you ever finally set a boundary with your mother as an adult or were you more passive? It seems to me like you did."

Client: "yes.......I....finally had enough one day and lost it...." Pauses, ashamed to admit the next piece.

Gio: "And when you lost it, did you keep losing it afterwards in other relationships?"

Client: "Yes, all of the time."

Gio: "Right because in your subconscious experience, the moment you set a boundary, show the "real you" the relationship is already over. You anticipate you won't be accepted, you anticipate the other person will be aggressive or passive aggressive, dishonest or manipulative. So you anticipate the rejection and possible negative outcome by leaving first. Since you are aggressive in the way you do it, the other person probably gets defensive and goes into their coping/shadow mechanisms and you feel it is a self-fulfilled prohpecy. See you cutting off the friendship or relationship would have been the only time you felt really powerful again. You see this pattern is all about the way you created to get your power back....it is your NO."

The pattern is your NO.

After growing up in a relationship with a primary parent that took your power away..... and isn't that what you do in your relationships........you seek out the closeness and intimacy you feel desperate to have, to be known as you.......that you didn't have with your parents.....and then if they step over the line in any way you........"

The silence is deafening as it begins to fall into place.

Gio: "You cut off.........and leave. It's your way of subconsciously saying, "You aren't going to do this to me." This being anything abusive, controlling, dishonest, etc. The problem is humans are imperfect and while you want to be in relationship and friendship with healthy ones, at one point or another something will come up. That's how you are setting boundaries and this is why the patterns keeps coming up, that is how you are being assertive, that is how you are raging at your mother. There is more to it than this, other pieces, but for today, let's work on this one."
Client: "That....that's it! OMG Gio! That's it! I feel it in my core. I feel so much relief."
Gio: "So how about we work on setting boundaries a different way?"

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Masculine men want freedom most of all

MASCULINE, Quality men want freedom most of all, and they will give their love, devotion and lifetime commitment to the HVW woman that gives them freedom
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There are many ways a woman in her Feminine gives men the experience of freedom- one of the main ones is emotional freedom, which I teach in depth at our Embodied Feminine Woman institute-
today though let's talk about another freedom a Man is inspired to give a woman, and a woman that gives it to him is magnetic to him--->
The Freedom To Choose Her
Freedom to a man is the highest experience for himself as a man, soul and human being- and that means making his own grown up, MAN, empowered decisions.
He is making decisions for himself without outside influence, coercion, pressure. He chooses what is right for him. That is why you will SO often see men refer to marrying their wife they love as...
"The best decision of their lives."
Obama said it like this, "Marrying Michelle was the best decision of my life."
If you take a decision away from a man by being the emotional pursuer, taking on masculine energy and chasing him, trying to force him or coerce him into a relationship, always performing or trying to convince him you are the one, stalking, pining and obsessing......
It is a form of emasculation for a man, one he will resent, lose attraction for and pull away-and he will definitely feel it that way (emasculated.)
This is why Feminine energy = Freedom to a man.
Freedom to be himself, that includes being a MAN, and operating differently than we do. He wants to decide for himself when the relationship progresses, and then offer it up to a HVW woman and she accepts his offer or rejects. He wants to make a good decision. The less personally you take rubber banding, his own timeline for commitment- the more you trust, the more free he feels....
And of course you can at ANY TIME accept or reject and move on to someone else. But putting all of your energy and pressure on to him to move the relationship forward will always backfire with a a masculine man or be very short lived. When a man makes a choice to commit to a woman as entirely his, not pressured but through attraction and connection to her, that choice is very solid for him. He didn't do it for anyone else, he did it because he wanted to, freely.
Leaning back is about honoring your desire as a woman to be chosen by the right man, and then you deciding if you want to choose him back. But knowing he is fully there, 2 feet in, because he wants nothing else.
Remember that men subconsciously see red flags in a woman forcing a relationship forward as being the wife that then emasculates, controls and "whips" her husband in the long run.
Men aren't afraid of commitment, they are afraid of being trapped. Let him come to YOU, as the masculine man pursuing, courting and winning your heart, worthy of you based on his consistent actions your life...and then you choose what you want.
You are always loved,
Gio

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Let things spin out as an act of self love

As you grow more and more in self esteem you realize you don't have to react to things, you don't need closure as much as you thought you did- and you can let things spin out, let them be....

You don't always have to have "the talk" with a man, you can let things spin out on their own- observing him, learning who he is, and letting things be- if he's for you he will step up, if he isn't he will step out.

Part of why clinging repels love, is that it comes from a deep lack of love within us- we are grabbing, forcing, holding on (picture your hands in a tight hold on something, feet yanked into the ground pulling with all of your energy.)

That constant pulling (clinging, pining, pursuing, obsessing) is draining your life- your very life energy, and wasting your life. WASTING LIFE, WASTING TIME, WASTING YOUR BLESSINGS.

People will spin themselves out-- haters will spin out (their wasted energy on you robbing them of healthy, wellbeing and their own opportunities.) Critics will spin out, and the men in your life, pursuing you will spin out- step up or step out. You really don't have to control much in that regard. Just be.

Let things be, they will unravel, become what they need to. You don't need to have the talk always, let things spin out, and lean back and when you are with them, be there be present, when you aren't, watch like a Goddess while your energy is on moving you forward, on you growing where you need to, in taking care of you, and on the things that fill your life and soul up.

Next time you are tempted to fire off that text asking, "Why haven't you called me????"

Just let things spin out on their own. You'll know and better things will be coming in.

You are always loved,

Gio

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When a guy has been really unhappy in a relationship or marriage

When a guy has been really unhappy in a relationship or marriage- and he ends it through breaking up or getting a divorce, pulling away, becoming distant etc......- the primary thing he feels is relief.....

He was just freed from a prison- because to a man very unhappy in a relationship it feels like a prison- men aren't afraid of commitment, they are afraid of entrapment-

And the thing is- the way we often do relationships and marriages as women are highly controlling on men-

Typical behaviors like being overly clingy, needy, self absorbed, flying off the handle, having reactive moods, demanding more and more than he can even give, not making sure his needs are also met by competing with his work, friends, family or social life....etc...

It happens A LOT. I know because I see it all of the time.

Men have work to do, and so do we as women- so we can both become healthier partners.....

Today I am addressing this issue.....

When a man breaks up with a woman, and she wants him back, if the love was real there is a strong possibility she might get him back if she follows the high value woman way----->however if she does ANY of the following she is almost guaranteed to lose him......

- After the breakup, she blows up his phone and email trying to think of any way to create communication (the number one thing he is wanting is his freedom back, his freedom from being forced, cajoled, pressured, made to carry emotional out of control emotions, absorbed and drained- give him space and lean back)......

-Disagree with his reasons for breaking up. The more a woman disagrees, the more invalidated and unseen a man will feel and be reaffirmed in his decision to ends things.... just agree, acept where he is at, set him free.

Example:

"yes things weren't great between us, how did they affect you?" Instead of "yes things weren't great between us, but how dare you just leave without trying?" (invalidating) OR "Things weren't that bad, I don't understand why you make such a big deal of things like me not giving you space."

-Seek out common spots where he goes like his gym, his work friends, his space and begin to encroach on them (controlling, invasive, entrapping).

-Get his family involved by calling them to tell them about what happened or telling his friends (encroaching on his face, entrapping him).

-Trying to stay on his radar by stalking his social media and crafting an image on yours that is sending him messages.

-Changing yourself into what you think he wants (women do this one all the time and it backfires and repels attraction)= changing dress, hair, social life, spirituality, or presenting a performance on social media or anything that may indicate anything but a geniune expression of who you are.

-Losing self control and going on an out of control party and hookup binge (to numb the pain but also to be a damsel in distress in need of rescue, or to try to make him jealous -won't work if he ended the relationship because he was done with games, unhappiness and drama- in fact you will be the farthest thing from his mind at this time- and by you I mean your shadow- the part of you that only knows love through manipulation, entrapment and obligation (don't worry, we all have it and I teach about this in depth at the Embodied Feminine Woman Institute.)

and ofcourse NUMBER ONE------>

Not doing the work to become a a high value woman, feminine energied and a healthy partner which was the root of the problem to begin with..... a woman that can sustain a relationship at a high level emotionally- recognizing and healing dysfunctional patterns of relationship entrapment that created an environment of unhappiness for him in which he wanted to leave and not return- communication, space, etc etc.

If you want to know what actually TO DO that works like magic to pull a man back, comment I'm interested below and I may create a standalone product to answer all of your questions in depth- on how to be adored like the queen you are and become so magnetic he comes back toy claim you forever.

A couple's energetic dynamics and how they walk together

You can usually tell a lot about a couple's energetic dynamics (polarity) by how they walk together-
I see a ton of women leading their men as if they have a leash on him and are telling him where to go, walking in very masculine, directed, forceful ways with their man trailing behind them, looking a bit lost in his body posture, numbed out, distracted.
And then you see other couples- where they walk like this below.
Of course, there are times and days, some days you just are walking to the drugstore, right?
So most couples will experience different styles, for different occasions, however, for a lot of couples I work with to reignite their relationship- they don't remember the last time they walked like this below.
More feminine cored women tend to LOVE and be very turned on when a man leads like this below.
Masculine below- Taking up space, grounded, strong, powerful, shoulders leaning forward, leading, protecting, very sure of where he is going and taking her, energy in his upper chest and arms.
Feminine below: Leaning back, smiling, radiating, feminine, relaxed, very content, letting her man lead and protect her, energy in her heart, womb, and hips.
You are always loved,
Gio

What is leaning back?

What is leaning back? We have a whole master class series on this- just a few snippets below- so much more--->

Leaning back is about choosing love that chooses you, choosing love from the healthy self (not the wounded self), doing relationship in a healthy, organically paced way, not unhealthy and out of fear and scarcity.

It is about staying connected to your highest worth and self-esteem and allowing self-respect/respect to lead the way for both involved. It is about real love and real relationships, and not fantasies, projections and infatuation.

It is about being absolutely yourself in total freedom, letting him be himself in total freedom and both of you choosing to fully own your responsibility towards yourself and the relationship.

It is about choosing the best companion and partner for your life as you become the best companion and partner you can be.

"What are some of the ways, actions/non actions, communication, vocabulary, ways of being that men are, feel, read, experience as a Wounded Little Girl opposed to a High Value Woman?"

A member of our EFW institute asked this question and one of our amazing, up and coming moderators nailed the answer-----> Way to go Nada!

"Hi beautiful! I think that the wounded girl within can also manifest as doormatism; the confidence destroying combination of poor boundaries and self neglect. This is where a woman prioritises a man’s needs and preferences above her own the majority of the time and then toggles between harsh expectations (which is really just her ego coming out to protect her) and low value boundaries.
Here are some concrete examples of how a a woman’s wounded girl can end up running the show:
🌟She has no regard for her own interests or schedule; she is flakey with all of her other commitments (family, friends, work or her own hobbies) in order to accomodate him. Then she gets reactive when he says no to her or chooses an activity or commitment that doesn’t include her. She has no one and nothing to go to when he’s not around.
🌟When she senses his attention is off her or that he’s pulling away, she responds by giving more or trying harder, offering him dinner or sex or probing him with questions like “Is everything ok? Have I done something to upset you?”
🌟No matter how much time he spends with her, she lingers around and always leaves it up fo him to decide when the closeness is too much.
🌟She allows her fears and insecurities to rule her, spending hours comparing herself to his ex girlfriends or monitoring his social media activity.
🌟She performs. She’s too afraid to speak her mind or she laughs to fill silences or when he hasn’t even said anything funny. 
🌟"She gives and gives and then tries to negotiate what she believes she’s owed in retrospect.

These are just some concrete examples off the top of my head!"

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Women commonly test men - actually all of the time

These tests are designed to do a number of things that ultimately boil down to the one thing-"Am I Safe?"

A woman can have different types of tests: some are just testing the waters:

*Can I be playful with this man?
*Does he have a sense of humor?
*Can he accept all of my sexual sides?
*Can I tease him and have him play instead of get insecure?
(If I throw him off of his game or say something sharp at him- will he react (feminine energy) or be solid (set a boundary, let it bounce off)

-->Does he react? Or set boundaries?
-->Does he run? Or stand firm?
-->Does he have resolve and mettle? Or is easily taken down with any word, feeling or argument?
-->Does he lead us? Or do I walk all over him?

Women test men and use it as foreplay:
=========================================

Example:
A woman and a man are arguing... she says, "It's over!" and storms out of the room. 
---->TEST: She wants the man to come after her, pursue her and say, "It's not over!"

What is she doing?
_________________________

Does he really want me?
Does he really love me?
Does he have resolve?
Does he have mettle?

Total foreplay.

She wants to be pursued. Claimed. Led. Chosen.

She is testing him for:

His resolve: His ability to see her in this state and not be overwhelmed by emotion- not make an emotional decisions (masculine energy.) If he gets reactive she perceives that whether she knows it or not as feminine energy.

His mettle: Does he run when things get difficult, or does he stand, solid, firm,(phatic-like) in the face of a storm? (Again is he the masculine energy here.)

...and ofcourse... his love.

Women do this so often that we teach them a better way- a way that isn't dramatic or confrontational to know if a man is the right man for her.

A small test here or there every now and then (rare) is ok, and can actually add some spice and foreplay (we all know about make-up sex).....

Constant tests however wil easily break down relationships, not matter how much resolve or mettle a man has.

-----especially with the advent of women learning about relationship from dramatic tv series and movies.

As a man if this happens, feel free to call a woman out on it-

"Hey, I know what you are doing. You are testing me for XYZ. It would be a lot sexier if you just trusted me and told me what you need vulnerably. I can handle your vulnerability, I am not going anywhere."

Watch intimacy and passion flourish.


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