In the work I do I am always unearthing each woman's relationship to her feminine energy. Each woman weaves herself into her definition of Woman, but her Feminine energy remains there for her benefit or untapped. Listen in and see something I see all too often.
Client: When I was a little girl it was like I didn't count as much as my brothers. They got away with things I didn't. It was like their needs were above my own or my mother's. I don't know how I knew but it was like my mother expected me to please her and that wasn't put on my brothers. I didn't matter as much.
Gio: So what happened because of that?
Client: "Well I became a tomboy, and I tried to be like boys."
Gio: "and when your body began changing into a more womanly body, I imagine you began resenting it"
Client: "Yes, totally! How did you know?!"
Gio: "and then you started getting attention from boys..."
Client: "yes but I never wanted it, I never wanted their attention. I didn't for years and years."
Gio: Of course not, you were rejecting the very thing they were attracted to and this was secondary. And when your body started getting attention from boys, what did you do with that attention?"
Client: Silence. Hushed tones. "I… I manipulated men."
Gio: "Yep...you couldn't receive that attention and enjoy it because you were outside of your body, you were trying to get your power back, to make up for the powerlessness."
This meant my client grew up into her late 30’s unable to receive love from men, prioritizing her masculine energy in everything she did, especially her career and only using her sexuality as a means to power with men, not as a means to enjoy herself and receive pleasure.
So women equate being desirable to having power over men = having safety, social status, provision, protection, commitment, not being abandoned, etc. Instead of receiving desire as a gift, it becomes a means to an end. This leads to a woman objectifying a man—as she feels objectified herself. Men this is such a pervasive wound among women, and it is great that you understand it, especially when you see a hardened, masculine woman or a woman who doesn't fully surrender sexually. It is in the way you show up as men that can lead a hardened woman to soften and reconnect to her repressed and disconnected femininity. The harder a woman has become, the softer she was to begin with.
You are always loved,