In the work I do it is sometimes really sobering to see how much the love that was absent in our childhood and how we learned to cope with that absent love, drives our relationships in our adult years.

I have seen so many women caught up in patterns of co-dependence and attached to absent love.

Think about it—if you had an absent father whose love you were always searching for—the pattern established is.

His Love is absent and you must search for it.

Therefore women often fall for emotionally unavailable men whose love is absent—and only then can these women feel in love, feel intense desire→ Because they are reliving their intense childhood desire and hoping to end it, or to meet it.

And what does absent love look like→ well it often looks like emotionally unavailable men.

And when those little girls had absent human fathers to learn to relate to, they created fantasy fathers in their mind, grabbing pieces here and there from movies, books or neighborhood fathers and created the idealized father—their projection.

So when a real man comes along, they are unable to see the man, they only see Mr. Right, Prince Charming, Rescuing Knight in Shining Armour.

They can't see the human, so the emotionally unavailable man only retracts further into his shell, his fear of being known (because who can live up to that right?)

And when an emotionally available man comes along, these beautiful women often simply don't understand this and they look for ways to sabotage it…

Because they never simply received this absent love for no other reason than Being.

This leads many women to be the pursuer in relationships with men and to chase love, over—function and over-give a guy, because they always have to earn that absent love their inner little girl was chasing…  instead of allowing love to come to them.

Because when they were children—love didn't come to them, not in the way they needed it.

This is just one of many patterns that call us to evaluate the way we give and receive love before we ever expect to have a great relationship with another loving human being."

You are always loved,

- Gio

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“Why Chasing a Man Will Not Get You Cherished As a Woman”

Control, control, control—that is why we chase a man. We don't know how to attract the love we want and so we have to find ways to force it, control it, make it happen, and force a man to like us, commit to us and be with us.

We stalk him on social media.

Text him just to say hi.

We put on an image, we try to be sweet, nice and do things for him.

We aggressively try to be nice if you know what I mean—trying hard to impress him, convince him and win him over.

All of those are the exact opposite of feminine energy whose foundation is emotional freedom. You aren't free—therefore he pushes away from the prison you are in of control.

And we control because we are disconnected from our Feminine power and because inside we allow fear and desperation to be the only means we USE to get love. It's unattractive—and no woman in her masculine energy is going to attract the sort of masculine man she wants.

That's when men pull away, ghost us, make convenient excuses like saying "he really wants to see you but he just had a family emergency or he has been super busy lately." Or maybe he does see you for coffee, or invites you to hang, or may even till take you to dinner one last time… but its clear he's no longer excited or making an effort and you somehow feel you've been put in the booty call or friend zone.

Masculine men are not attracted to Masculine energy in women. Men don't like to be controlled, chased, pursued...

How attracted would you be to a guy who takes 2 and a half hours to do his hair, nails and makeup before seeing you, who expects you to send him flowers and chocolates, and wants you to make all the plans and be the man?

No problem there with anyone doing it, I am saying that if you are the Feminine energy—you will be attracted to masculine energy (and this goes beyond gender).

Feminine energy, the real feminine energy, not the outer fake feminine energy a lot of people are teaching nowadays, triggers intense attraction in men.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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How to Identify a Masculine Man Who is Commitment Ready

Masculine men give you as a woman deep feelings of stability and security. You feel like you can be a woman around them because of their grounding, safe, powerful and focused energy. They are not flakey, indecisive, and directionless and if you feel unstable around them, are not in their masculine. (As a woman you will feel their masculine grounding in your lower body/chakras especially).

Beta Men are looking for a masculine energied woman who looks feminine typically. They want a woman to provide the grounding, direction and stability they don't have. They want the woman to provide for them like a mother does. Often men like these will have little direction, will be financially unstable, will have great ideas but not be able to succeed at any of them (idealist) and will often argue about paying for dates.

Masculine men like significance but they don't need validation to lead. Beta men will be looking for validation and popularity everywhere without doing the work to become the solid man they need to be. They are chasing fame not leadership. A masculine man will be focused on leadership and service.

Men will stay even when times are hard, if they are committed to you, they will seek for ways to work it through, they understand that life is both highs and lows.

Masculine men are looking for a High Value Queen and a real relationship, not just a pretty face that makes them look good on social media.

Masculine men do not run from commitment, they understand they are forged through commitment, commitment to building a life, a partnership, a business, etc.

Men always figure out the way to succeed through strategies, focus and resourcefulness. They get back up, they don't make excuses.

Photo Credit: usmagazine.com

Photo Credit: usmagazine.com

How do I become Magnetic to Men?

You don't look for it outside of yourself. You are either a radiant light or your light is blocked and  you are looking for a man to be your light. Men are drawn to you when you offer them the fullness of who you are from the inside. A woman with self-esteem, self-respect, boundaries, a soft, wild, alive heart that UNDERSTAND HOW TO LOVE A MAN.

So are you full, integrated and whole? Or showing up taking way more than you give?

The evidence is always in how men respond to you. Do they pursue you passionately, commit, want to claim you or do they continually leave?

Your task is to remove the layers that are keeping you showing up empty instead of with abundant feminine energy to offer a man.

Most of us don't realize how empty we approach men—asking, taking, self-absorbed. We are empty of self-esteem, worth, femininity but we are full of insecurity, co-dependent taking energy, bad relationship habits.

When we show up empty—men pull away—they don't find what they are looking for. When we show up full, embodied and feminine men are magnetized. Desire rules the world in many ways—and we are magnetized and drawn to pursue what we want and need.

Learn to connect to the core of who you are and become an Embodied Feminine Woman.

You are always loved,

- Gio

Photo Credit: @Mikutas

Photo Credit: @Mikutas

The #1 Thing That Makes a Man Fall in Love with You

A man falls in love with you when he can be totally himself with you, like he can't be with anyone else.
When you show up with your guards down, connected to your own heart and self, you are able to create that space with a man.

That space is a space of intimacy.
In that safe space a man begins to drop out of his own head and begins feelings his own heart, his own feelings. He opens up to you because he feels safe with you. When you are yourself with him, you show that you trust yourself, that you know yourself, that you can handle your emotions. Whenever we can’t handle our emotions, we become self-absorbed.

When you accept yourself enough to be who you are with him, he feels safe to be totally himself around you. He begins to open up and share with you things he shares with no one else.  A man sees a soulmate, when he sees a companion for his soul—his innermost, truest being.

In order to open up to you, to be totally himself with you, a man needs to feel safe around you. He needs to feel he can tell you anything and you will be able to handle it. He falls in love with you when he feels he can be totally himself around you.

He feels this way because he knows that you aren't trying to control him, or your own feelings, or the circumstances to go in your favor, you are just sharing a moment with him, connecting. And when his guard comes down, and his heart begins to open, and he lets you in to his world... when you leave he begins to miss you, that space where he can be totally himself with you, the woman who knows his heart-' who is sensitive and in tune with those emotions he may not even be in tune with himself.

As a woman, your feminine is  your own presence and curiosity (which is love and interest for him) and your own intuition (able to tune in) to another's heart.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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