“Why Chasing a Man Will Not Get You Cherished As a Woman”

Control, control, control—that is why we chase a man. We don't know how to attract the love we want and so we have to find ways to force it, control it, make it happen, and force a man to like us, commit to us and be with us.

We stalk him on social media.

Text him just to say hi.

We put on an image, we try to be sweet, nice and do things for him.

We aggressively try to be nice if you know what I mean—trying hard to impress him, convince him and win him over.

All of those are the exact opposite of feminine energy whose foundation is emotional freedom. You aren't free—therefore he pushes away from the prison you are in of control.

And we control because we are disconnected from our Feminine power and because inside we allow fear and desperation to be the only means we USE to get love. It's unattractive—and no woman in her masculine energy is going to attract the sort of masculine man she wants.

That's when men pull away, ghost us, make convenient excuses like saying "he really wants to see you but he just had a family emergency or he has been super busy lately." Or maybe he does see you for coffee, or invites you to hang, or may even till take you to dinner one last time… but its clear he's no longer excited or making an effort and you somehow feel you've been put in the booty call or friend zone.

Masculine men are not attracted to Masculine energy in women. Men don't like to be controlled, chased, pursued...

How attracted would you be to a guy who takes 2 and a half hours to do his hair, nails and makeup before seeing you, who expects you to send him flowers and chocolates, and wants you to make all the plans and be the man?

No problem there with anyone doing it, I am saying that if you are the Feminine energy—you will be attracted to masculine energy (and this goes beyond gender).

Feminine energy, the real feminine energy, not the outer fake feminine energy a lot of people are teaching nowadays, triggers intense attraction in men.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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What is Your Relationship With Your Feminine?

In the work I do I am always unearthing each woman's relationship to her feminine energy. Each woman weaves herself into her definition of Woman, but her Feminine energy remains there for her benefit or untapped. Listen in and see something I see all too often.

Client: When I was a little girl it was like I didn't count as much as my brothers. They got away with things I didn't. It was like their needs were above my own or my mother's. I don't know how I knew but it was like my mother expected me to please her and that wasn't put on my brothers. I didn't matter as much.

Gio: So what happened because of that?

Client: "Well I became a tomboy, and I tried to be like boys."

Gio: "and when your body began changing into a more womanly body, I imagine you began resenting it"

Client: "Yes, totally! How did you know?!"

Gio: "and then you started getting attention from boys..."

Client: "yes but I never wanted it, I never wanted their attention. I didn't for years and years."

Gio: Of course not, you were rejecting the very thing they were attracted to and this was secondary. And when your body started getting attention from boys, what did you do with that attention?"

Client: Silence. Hushed tones. "I… I manipulated men."

Gio: "Yep...you couldn't receive that attention and enjoy it because you were outside of your body, you were trying to get your power back, to make up for the powerlessness."

This meant my client grew up into her late 30’s unable to receive love from men, prioritizing her masculine energy in everything she did, especially her career and only using her sexuality as a means to power with men, not as a means to enjoy herself and receive pleasure.

So women equate being desirable to having power over men = having safety, social status, provision, protection, commitment, not being abandoned, etc. Instead of receiving desire as a gift, it becomes a means to an end. This leads to a woman objectifying a man—as she feels objectified herself. Men this is such a pervasive wound among women, and it is great that you understand it, especially when you see a hardened, masculine woman or a woman who doesn't fully surrender sexually. It is in the way you show up as men that can lead a hardened woman to soften and reconnect to her repressed and disconnected femininity. The harder a woman has become, the softer she was to begin with.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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How to Identify a Masculine Man Who is Commitment Ready

Masculine men give you as a woman deep feelings of stability and security. You feel like you can be a woman around them because of their grounding, safe, powerful and focused energy. They are not flakey, indecisive, and directionless and if you feel unstable around them, are not in their masculine. (As a woman you will feel their masculine grounding in your lower body/chakras especially).

Beta Men are looking for a masculine energied woman who looks feminine typically. They want a woman to provide the grounding, direction and stability they don't have. They want the woman to provide for them like a mother does. Often men like these will have little direction, will be financially unstable, will have great ideas but not be able to succeed at any of them (idealist) and will often argue about paying for dates.

Masculine men like significance but they don't need validation to lead. Beta men will be looking for validation and popularity everywhere without doing the work to become the solid man they need to be. They are chasing fame not leadership. A masculine man will be focused on leadership and service.

Men will stay even when times are hard, if they are committed to you, they will seek for ways to work it through, they understand that life is both highs and lows.

Masculine men are looking for a High Value Queen and a real relationship, not just a pretty face that makes them look good on social media.

Masculine men do not run from commitment, they understand they are forged through commitment, commitment to building a life, a partnership, a business, etc.

Men always figure out the way to succeed through strategies, focus and resourcefulness. They get back up, they don't make excuses.

Photo Credit: usmagazine.com

Photo Credit: usmagazine.com

The Importance of Being Turned Off

One of the most important gut level responses we can have is to be sensitive to when we feel turned off by someone and by someone's behavior.

A man approached you in a not so respectful way.

An acquaintance's approach to you didn't have the best intentions.

It could be a thousand reasons—and yet so often we dismiss their behavior because we are feeling insecure and we need validation. We need to be liked—we need to approve of and so instead of staying present to how it made us feel and whether we want to stay there.....whether or not we approve, we like, we want, and we are turned off....?
We stay, in one way or another. That guy's minimal investment in you is sounding off as a big turn off, whatever his reasons—if your heart stay attached to him despite these turnoffs it’s often a sign you aren't honoring yourself—which means you aren't VALUING yourself.

That turn off is telling you know he is half-assing it—yet there we are.... hung up on his next text.

Staying in any situation where you should be turned off and detached is always a mirror to healing that needs to take place for you-' in your confidence, in your worth. Once you learn how to heal this you aren't a beggar looking for validation crumbs everywhere—you already have it within you… and so the next thing you feel is the turn off—and you detach...

Yep, I don’t want to be here.

Nope, I don't want to respond to that email.

I have nothing to say now, I am going to go do other things...

OK. I understand. However I am now going to move on.

MANTRA: "Although I've tended to be very good about not returning to situations I feel turned off by, I always prioritize getting better at it… and honoring my boundaries, interests and treating turn off responses as filters for where and with whom I should be."

You are always loved,

- Gio

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