Why?

• He was in a loveless, horrible and unhappy marriage where he might have been trapped in it because of kids.

• 'That marriage began well, like the honeymoon period but quickly descended into unhappiness and pain—leading him to think any loving relationship can turn really unhappy—and if he's married (committed) there is no way out—and if he does this again, he won't survive it.

• His divorce ruined him financially. So many men tell me about their conversations with lawyers, prenups and the years they will have to support a wife after a divorce and give up their savings, assets or wealth. (obligation).

This is one example of many… where a man is burned off of commitment—he would rather be alone—than be trapped in an unhappy union ever again.

So he can be totally in love—and not be able to emotionally commit… sometimes ever again ladies.

So some of these man do eventually commit if she shows up emotionally safe and feminine, but others never will, even if totally in love—they are too traumatized and not able or willing to work through their intense fears.

Fall in love with a man that can give you what you want—and understand how to date a man who is in this stage of his life if you want to give him a chance.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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In the work I do it is sometimes really sobering to see how much the love that was absent in our childhood and how we learned to cope with that absent love, drives our relationships in our adult years.

I have seen so many women caught up in patterns of co-dependence and attached to absent love.

Think about it—if you had an absent father whose love you were always searching for—the pattern established is.

His Love is absent and you must search for it.

Therefore women often fall for emotionally unavailable men whose love is absent—and only then can these women feel in love, feel intense desire→ Because they are reliving their intense childhood desire and hoping to end it, or to meet it.

And what does absent love look like→ well it often looks like emotionally unavailable men.

And when those little girls had absent human fathers to learn to relate to, they created fantasy fathers in their mind, grabbing pieces here and there from movies, books or neighborhood fathers and created the idealized father—their projection.

So when a real man comes along, they are unable to see the man, they only see Mr. Right, Prince Charming, Rescuing Knight in Shining Armour.

They can't see the human, so the emotionally unavailable man only retracts further into his shell, his fear of being known (because who can live up to that right?)

And when an emotionally available man comes along, these beautiful women often simply don't understand this and they look for ways to sabotage it…

Because they never simply received this absent love for no other reason than Being.

This leads many women to be the pursuer in relationships with men and to chase love, over—function and over-give a guy, because they always have to earn that absent love their inner little girl was chasing…  instead of allowing love to come to them.

Because when they were children—love didn't come to them, not in the way they needed it.

This is just one of many patterns that call us to evaluate the way we give and receive love before we ever expect to have a great relationship with another loving human being."

You are always loved,

- Gio

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What is Your Relationship With Your Feminine?

In the work I do I am always unearthing each woman's relationship to her feminine energy. Each woman weaves herself into her definition of Woman, but her Feminine energy remains there for her benefit or untapped. Listen in and see something I see all too often.

Client: When I was a little girl it was like I didn't count as much as my brothers. They got away with things I didn't. It was like their needs were above my own or my mother's. I don't know how I knew but it was like my mother expected me to please her and that wasn't put on my brothers. I didn't matter as much.

Gio: So what happened because of that?

Client: "Well I became a tomboy, and I tried to be like boys."

Gio: "and when your body began changing into a more womanly body, I imagine you began resenting it"

Client: "Yes, totally! How did you know?!"

Gio: "and then you started getting attention from boys..."

Client: "yes but I never wanted it, I never wanted their attention. I didn't for years and years."

Gio: Of course not, you were rejecting the very thing they were attracted to and this was secondary. And when your body started getting attention from boys, what did you do with that attention?"

Client: Silence. Hushed tones. "I… I manipulated men."

Gio: "Yep...you couldn't receive that attention and enjoy it because you were outside of your body, you were trying to get your power back, to make up for the powerlessness."

This meant my client grew up into her late 30’s unable to receive love from men, prioritizing her masculine energy in everything she did, especially her career and only using her sexuality as a means to power with men, not as a means to enjoy herself and receive pleasure.

So women equate being desirable to having power over men = having safety, social status, provision, protection, commitment, not being abandoned, etc. Instead of receiving desire as a gift, it becomes a means to an end. This leads to a woman objectifying a man—as she feels objectified herself. Men this is such a pervasive wound among women, and it is great that you understand it, especially when you see a hardened, masculine woman or a woman who doesn't fully surrender sexually. It is in the way you show up as men that can lead a hardened woman to soften and reconnect to her repressed and disconnected femininity. The harder a woman has become, the softer she was to begin with.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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Hi Beauties,

Very often a man's timeline for commitment takes longer than yours. Commitment brings a huge amount of responsibility for a masculine man who internally understands commitment as duty, honor and obligation.

He is going to take longer (most likely). The more eager, anxious, demanding, expectation filled you are—the more you are proving to him that you will very easily be controlling, nagging and emasculating once married—something men tell me weekly they are afraid of when it comes to marriage.

While you don't want your time wasted here by attaching and committing to him before he does, you also don't want to rush this—a baby takes 9 months, let him go through his commitment process.

Give  men the space they need to be who they are— MEN.

You are always loved,

- Gio

Photo Credit: marthastewartweddings.com

Photo Credit: marthastewartweddings.com