Why?

• He was in a loveless, horrible and unhappy marriage where he might have been trapped in it because of kids.

• 'That marriage began well, like the honeymoon period but quickly descended into unhappiness and pain—leading him to think any loving relationship can turn really unhappy—and if he's married (committed) there is no way out—and if he does this again, he won't survive it.

• His divorce ruined him financially. So many men tell me about their conversations with lawyers, prenups and the years they will have to support a wife after a divorce and give up their savings, assets or wealth. (obligation).

This is one example of many… where a man is burned off of commitment—he would rather be alone—than be trapped in an unhappy union ever again.

So he can be totally in love—and not be able to emotionally commit… sometimes ever again ladies.

So some of these man do eventually commit if she shows up emotionally safe and feminine, but others never will, even if totally in love—they are too traumatized and not able or willing to work through their intense fears.

Fall in love with a man that can give you what you want—and understand how to date a man who is in this stage of his life if you want to give him a chance.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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In the work I do it is sometimes really sobering to see how much the love that was absent in our childhood and how we learned to cope with that absent love, drives our relationships in our adult years.

I have seen so many women caught up in patterns of co-dependence and attached to absent love.

Think about it—if you had an absent father whose love you were always searching for—the pattern established is.

His Love is absent and you must search for it.

Therefore women often fall for emotionally unavailable men whose love is absent—and only then can these women feel in love, feel intense desire→ Because they are reliving their intense childhood desire and hoping to end it, or to meet it.

And what does absent love look like→ well it often looks like emotionally unavailable men.

And when those little girls had absent human fathers to learn to relate to, they created fantasy fathers in their mind, grabbing pieces here and there from movies, books or neighborhood fathers and created the idealized father—their projection.

So when a real man comes along, they are unable to see the man, they only see Mr. Right, Prince Charming, Rescuing Knight in Shining Armour.

They can't see the human, so the emotionally unavailable man only retracts further into his shell, his fear of being known (because who can live up to that right?)

And when an emotionally available man comes along, these beautiful women often simply don't understand this and they look for ways to sabotage it…

Because they never simply received this absent love for no other reason than Being.

This leads many women to be the pursuer in relationships with men and to chase love, over—function and over-give a guy, because they always have to earn that absent love their inner little girl was chasing…  instead of allowing love to come to them.

Because when they were children—love didn't come to them, not in the way they needed it.

This is just one of many patterns that call us to evaluate the way we give and receive love before we ever expect to have a great relationship with another loving human being."

You are always loved,

- Gio

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The Kingdom of Heaven is Here And Not Yet

Sometimes I myself need to hear the words that come through me because I know there is a place inside of me where these words come from that is Divine, infinite and eternal. That place is in every human being.

And every human being is both that place—Divine, infinite and eternal...and the very human parts catching up to that, growing into that, being nourished into growth and freedom by that—the imperfect parts we want to run away from—which we need to run to.

The holding of opposites— we can be Divine powerful leaders and oh so human, not only can we be, we are. And the more loving relationship we have with every part within ourselves, the more compassionate we become, the more patient.

I love the stories that talk about the kingdom of God being here in our midst and within us and yet not fully here yet, as something that is coming.

And the parts of humanity we would run away from... the inner darker and more wounded parts of us we need to sit down with,, understand and allow to heal.

Sometimes you need to invite every part of you to a riotous dinner, have a sit down and talk, break bread, drink wine and chill. Listen to what every part of you has to say, they all have a story to tell, a reason for being, a specific place they are at in their growth and development.

You are the ultimate parent that listens to each part within you (your wounded child, your ego, your dysfunctional parts, your genius, all of them) … and holds space, love, direction, leadership and eternal compassion. That and only that way, through divine compassion and intimacy with yourself, does every part of you grow up to match the divine part of who you are.

Through love we heal, grow up into wholeness and develop into our divine potential.


You are always loved,

- Gio

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“Why Chasing a Man Will Not Get You Cherished As a Woman”

Control, control, control—that is why we chase a man. We don't know how to attract the love we want and so we have to find ways to force it, control it, make it happen, and force a man to like us, commit to us and be with us.

We stalk him on social media.

Text him just to say hi.

We put on an image, we try to be sweet, nice and do things for him.

We aggressively try to be nice if you know what I mean—trying hard to impress him, convince him and win him over.

All of those are the exact opposite of feminine energy whose foundation is emotional freedom. You aren't free—therefore he pushes away from the prison you are in of control.

And we control because we are disconnected from our Feminine power and because inside we allow fear and desperation to be the only means we USE to get love. It's unattractive—and no woman in her masculine energy is going to attract the sort of masculine man she wants.

That's when men pull away, ghost us, make convenient excuses like saying "he really wants to see you but he just had a family emergency or he has been super busy lately." Or maybe he does see you for coffee, or invites you to hang, or may even till take you to dinner one last time… but its clear he's no longer excited or making an effort and you somehow feel you've been put in the booty call or friend zone.

Masculine men are not attracted to Masculine energy in women. Men don't like to be controlled, chased, pursued...

How attracted would you be to a guy who takes 2 and a half hours to do his hair, nails and makeup before seeing you, who expects you to send him flowers and chocolates, and wants you to make all the plans and be the man?

No problem there with anyone doing it, I am saying that if you are the Feminine energy—you will be attracted to masculine energy (and this goes beyond gender).

Feminine energy, the real feminine energy, not the outer fake feminine energy a lot of people are teaching nowadays, triggers intense attraction in men.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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What is Your Relationship With Your Feminine?

In the work I do I am always unearthing each woman's relationship to her feminine energy. Each woman weaves herself into her definition of Woman, but her Feminine energy remains there for her benefit or untapped. Listen in and see something I see all too often.

Client: When I was a little girl it was like I didn't count as much as my brothers. They got away with things I didn't. It was like their needs were above my own or my mother's. I don't know how I knew but it was like my mother expected me to please her and that wasn't put on my brothers. I didn't matter as much.

Gio: So what happened because of that?

Client: "Well I became a tomboy, and I tried to be like boys."

Gio: "and when your body began changing into a more womanly body, I imagine you began resenting it"

Client: "Yes, totally! How did you know?!"

Gio: "and then you started getting attention from boys..."

Client: "yes but I never wanted it, I never wanted their attention. I didn't for years and years."

Gio: Of course not, you were rejecting the very thing they were attracted to and this was secondary. And when your body started getting attention from boys, what did you do with that attention?"

Client: Silence. Hushed tones. "I… I manipulated men."

Gio: "Yep...you couldn't receive that attention and enjoy it because you were outside of your body, you were trying to get your power back, to make up for the powerlessness."

This meant my client grew up into her late 30’s unable to receive love from men, prioritizing her masculine energy in everything she did, especially her career and only using her sexuality as a means to power with men, not as a means to enjoy herself and receive pleasure.

So women equate being desirable to having power over men = having safety, social status, provision, protection, commitment, not being abandoned, etc. Instead of receiving desire as a gift, it becomes a means to an end. This leads to a woman objectifying a man—as she feels objectified herself. Men this is such a pervasive wound among women, and it is great that you understand it, especially when you see a hardened, masculine woman or a woman who doesn't fully surrender sexually. It is in the way you show up as men that can lead a hardened woman to soften and reconnect to her repressed and disconnected femininity. The harder a woman has become, the softer she was to begin with.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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Hi Beauties,

Very often a man's timeline for commitment takes longer than yours. Commitment brings a huge amount of responsibility for a masculine man who internally understands commitment as duty, honor and obligation.

He is going to take longer (most likely). The more eager, anxious, demanding, expectation filled you are—the more you are proving to him that you will very easily be controlling, nagging and emasculating once married—something men tell me weekly they are afraid of when it comes to marriage.

While you don't want your time wasted here by attaching and committing to him before he does, you also don't want to rush this—a baby takes 9 months, let him go through his commitment process.

Give  men the space they need to be who they are— MEN.

You are always loved,

- Gio

Photo Credit: marthastewartweddings.com

Photo Credit: marthastewartweddings.com

How to Identify a Masculine Man Who is Commitment Ready

Masculine men give you as a woman deep feelings of stability and security. You feel like you can be a woman around them because of their grounding, safe, powerful and focused energy. They are not flakey, indecisive, and directionless and if you feel unstable around them, are not in their masculine. (As a woman you will feel their masculine grounding in your lower body/chakras especially).

Beta Men are looking for a masculine energied woman who looks feminine typically. They want a woman to provide the grounding, direction and stability they don't have. They want the woman to provide for them like a mother does. Often men like these will have little direction, will be financially unstable, will have great ideas but not be able to succeed at any of them (idealist) and will often argue about paying for dates.

Masculine men like significance but they don't need validation to lead. Beta men will be looking for validation and popularity everywhere without doing the work to become the solid man they need to be. They are chasing fame not leadership. A masculine man will be focused on leadership and service.

Men will stay even when times are hard, if they are committed to you, they will seek for ways to work it through, they understand that life is both highs and lows.

Masculine men are looking for a High Value Queen and a real relationship, not just a pretty face that makes them look good on social media.

Masculine men do not run from commitment, they understand they are forged through commitment, commitment to building a life, a partnership, a business, etc.

Men always figure out the way to succeed through strategies, focus and resourcefulness. They get back up, they don't make excuses.

Photo Credit: usmagazine.com

Photo Credit: usmagazine.com

Don't regret it, just get bigger and better...

The best revenge is to diffuse the need to revenge and refocus all of your energy on having everything you desire and want.

Recently in conversations with clients things like these would come up:

But I gave him so much—and now I want to take it back.

But she benefited so much by being with me, I feel used.

And while we never bypass those emotions, we process them and learn to be with them—I want to offer you a thought. The core pain here is the feeling of being replaced and left behind. Of being used and then discarded… and the focus is off our own power of creation which is in you at all times.

At all times you can (after processing and being with your emotions) move your focus into creating for yourself… opening doors for yourself, getting bigger and better.

The best revenge is a well lived, extremely fulfilling life—full of self-forgiveness, lessons learned and achieved expansion, joy, love relationship and so much more...

This is the secret alchemy of transmuting fear into creation and power.

If you are afraid of being left behind—refocus and move forward at higher speeds with more powerful direction. Create for yourself without waiting for anyone to acknowledge.

Be happy you gave to them, be happy they benefited, and now give to yourself, create openings and expand. Healthy things grow and blossom.

You are never replaceable to your own soul and from your soul comes the power of life to create, care for you, and attract to you everything you desire.

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The Importance of Being Turned Off

One of the most important gut level responses we can have is to be sensitive to when we feel turned off by someone and by someone's behavior.

A man approached you in a not so respectful way.

An acquaintance's approach to you didn't have the best intentions.

It could be a thousand reasons—and yet so often we dismiss their behavior because we are feeling insecure and we need validation. We need to be liked—we need to approve of and so instead of staying present to how it made us feel and whether we want to stay there.....whether or not we approve, we like, we want, and we are turned off....?
We stay, in one way or another. That guy's minimal investment in you is sounding off as a big turn off, whatever his reasons—if your heart stay attached to him despite these turnoffs it’s often a sign you aren't honoring yourself—which means you aren't VALUING yourself.

That turn off is telling you know he is half-assing it—yet there we are.... hung up on his next text.

Staying in any situation where you should be turned off and detached is always a mirror to healing that needs to take place for you-' in your confidence, in your worth. Once you learn how to heal this you aren't a beggar looking for validation crumbs everywhere—you already have it within you… and so the next thing you feel is the turn off—and you detach...

Yep, I don’t want to be here.

Nope, I don't want to respond to that email.

I have nothing to say now, I am going to go do other things...

OK. I understand. However I am now going to move on.

MANTRA: "Although I've tended to be very good about not returning to situations I feel turned off by, I always prioritize getting better at it… and honoring my boundaries, interests and treating turn off responses as filters for where and with whom I should be."

You are always loved,

- Gio

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The World is Pushing Women Too far into Masculinity

This world continually gives us more opportunities as women, opportunities we have fought for and I am so grateful for. However as a relationship expert who coaches powerful men and women and couples each week—I see the trend of pushing women way too much into their masculine energy.

Leaving women feeling disconnected from their most powerful essence at their own core!

Masculine energy is the energy that helps us get things done:

- Has us move through our to do lists

- Conquer our empires

- Strategize and calculate everything

- Become self-sufficient and totally independent.

...and show up with men with this same leading, masculine energy... however, to men, if we show up in this energy, they feel like they are on a date with a man, a dude or a buddy. Men will routinely say to me:

"She was beautiful but she felt like a guy."

"My wife just felt like I was coming home to have sex with another man."

And all of their attraction and sexual polarity with us dries up. I coach men every week and they all tell me the same thing—they long for Feminine women… Femininity.

Just like we as women long for Masculinity in men—for a man to step up, protect, take care of, lead. Your Feminine energy looks like the moments when you are deeply connected to your heart, your softness, your receptivity (you allow yourself to be loved, pursued, adored and you drop your guardedness, reactivity and aggression. Your Feminine energy comes out when you have no goal, no agenda which means you are free to connect with those around you simply for WHO they are, not the outcome they take you too. Feminine energy is all about WHO YOU ARE and WHO HE IS. Not on trying to get someone to love you, give to you or change for you. In your Femininity, you are relaxed in your sensual, feeling body, you are empathic, taking it all in, your curiosity about life, yourself and the other comes out to play, you become a powerful force for creating wild and free and deep intimacy, connection, play… your soul emerges with it's intuition, it's inner knowing… You are Goddess.

You share the full range of your emotions to create connection, you share both light and dark, peace and storm and in sharing this open the other to share their soul with you and create a bond with you which the other's Soul feels like home and deep companionship. In your Feminine you becoming vulnerable because you allow your Soul to be seen as it is, and you make others vulnerable because you see their Souls as they are—without the personas, masks, images and facades. Acceptance.

This is absolutely and stunningly irresistible to masculine men. I have seen men get dizzy, literally lose their balance and surrender to a woman who shows up in her deep, embodied Feminine energy.

Don't buy into the marketing hype that being a powerful woman is all about your masculine energy—nothing is more anti-woman than that. You can have both energies and know when to give yourself the freedom to express them.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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The practice of listening in to your SOUL and creating intimacy with yourself, leads you to knowing how to have your Man open his heart to you in ways that have him feel completely devoted to you. People often ask, "I know I need Self-love but how do I make it real?"

How does self-love descend from your head into your heart?

Self-love descends into your heart when you are willing to look into what others would look away from. When you are willing to meet shame with acceptance, understanding, a listening ear, compassion and truth.

Self-love is your own gentle friendship with your own self. Your unwillingness to flinch, judge, belittle, shame or humiliate the parts of you you feel most humiliated for having.

You know— those dark parts we shudder to think we have—the jealous feelings, the real, ugly, anger, the inner needy taker, the insecure hater… the sellout, the part of us that is in a grey zone when it comes to integrity… the fears, the little child crying…

If you shame those aspects of yourself which is what self-rejection does (you reject those parts of you)... they will never get the ONE thing they need to come back into wholeness… your own LOVE.

Remember that whatever you don't listen to within yourself, gets shouted out to everyone else around you.

Today, gift yourself the space to listen in to any and all feelings, and keep asking your heart why it feels this way—no fixing, no numbing, no telling your heart what it should feel.

Being listened to is one of the most powerful forms of LOVE.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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